My Virtual World

eBid Widgets, by Kimbo! - eBid support how you want it

2012-01-17T14:24:00.000-08:00

eBid Widgets, by Kimbo! - eBid support how you want it

This is the funniest set of Faqs I have seen in ages...:)

Send Soap To The UAF Day February 29th

2012-01-09T23:41:00.001-08:00

For everyone out there who is anti lefty and anti PC please join in this fun campaign.
Nationalism is often way too serious and I reckon it's time to lighten up a little.

I have made this photo into posters...now just have to find some place to put them :)

Dog Rules For Christmas...lol

2011-12-08T18:03:00.001-08:00

Dog's Rules For Christmas

1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog cuddles.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
Don't pee on the tree...
Don't drink the water in the container that holds the tree...
Mind your tail when you are near the tree...
If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open...
And don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
Not all strangers appreciate kisses and cleans.
Don't eat off the buffet table.
Beg for goodies subtly.
Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your spot on the sofa -- they don't know any better.
Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach
unless you can get away with it...

6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other
people's houses. (4a is particularly important) Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house. Be nice to the kiddies. Turn on your charm big time.

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DO NOT BITE HIM !!!

URGENT EMERGENCY NOTICE: Hurricane Bawbag

2011-12-08T13:42:00.000-08:00

URGENT EMERGENCY NOTICE
On December 8th 2011, a hurricane of biblical strength blasted across North and Central Scotland and victims could be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: “Ah wiz pure ****tin’ masel big man so a wiz"

The hurricane decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress was caused:
* Many were woken well before their giro arrived.
* Several priceless collections of mementos from the Spanish costas were damaged.
* Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.
* The cone fell off the head of the statue outside Glasgow’s Modern Art Gallery.
* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Scotland.
* One resident, Pocahontis McGlinchy, a 17 year old mother-of-three said “Ah wiz like ‘Whit’s that? Ah,canny hear ma choonz innat man. Wee Beyonce came running into my bedroom pure howlin so she wiz. My youngest two, Brooklyn an Blackpool slept through it. I was still pure rattlin when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning.”
* Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.
* The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.
* Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

HOW YOU CAN HELP
Clothing is most sought after. Items required include:
- Sovvy rings
- Baseball caps
- Shell suits
- Tesco two stripe trainers
- White socks
- Chunky gold chains

Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
- Mutty Pies and Buckfast
- Hauf Pizza Suppers and Buckfast
- Mars Bars and Buckfast
- Kebabs and Buckfast
- Haggis Suppers and Buckfast
- Fray Bentos Pies and Buckfast

* £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four.
* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.
* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim.

Please give generously

With apologies to anyone from Coatbridge.

My Thoughts on The British Multicultural Experiment

2011-11-30T17:07:00.000-08:00

When I checked my email earlier there was one telling me that UKGovsucksTV had uploaded a new video to YouTube.In this video, viewers were asked about their experience of multiculturalism where they live..

See The UKGovsucksTV channel HERE
Read The UKGovsucksTV blog HERE
With Exclusive videos not available on Youtube

I came up with the following rough notes.

- Our Queen visited recently and my mum (in her 80's) was pushed and shoved by a Muslim woman who only had her eyes showing. Kudos to my mum though..when the woman started shouting 'My Queen!' and waving a flag...my normally well mannered mum told her 'she isn't your effing queen and this isn't your country' lol.

- A local woman was stabbed by a rival takeaway owner (Muslim) and the police response was something like. 'We won't be able to find him now, he has probably gone to London'

- A local cafe owner (Muslim) chucked a blind man out who had a guide dog with him...the story got to the nationals but nothing much was done about it so far as I can tell.

- I can't find a British Dentist locally and my bank manager (Polish) had to place the computer screen between us during an interview so that I could help her with her spelling.

- I have also lost business from my Avon round due to multiculturalism as when people move out either Polish or black people move in. Not always, but often enough to be obvious. The Polish people can't speak a word of English so shut the door really quickly and the black people are downright rude and look me up and down like I'm a beggar or something. The Brits don't always buy but they aren't rude to me. I have had to move my business on-line as a result.

- Like I said ..this probably sounds tame...but I don't come from a place that has been 'enriched' overmuch

Oh nearly forgot...why is there a Samba band playing at nearly every community event in my town????

The Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino www.butyoudontlooksick.com

2011-08-29T17:07:00.000-07:00

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

© Christine Miserandino

Shiny Happy Monsters!!!

2011-08-28T15:52:00.001-07:00

Just because I Love R.E.M. :)

2011-08-28T15:50:00.001-07:00

How Not To Make Porridge

2011-08-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

By L Clarke (2011)

How not to make porridge:

1. Add out of date milk to the porridge without realising.

2. Overfill the bowl before you put it in the microwave.

3. Get it out as soon as its cooked, sloping the bowl of steaming hot porridge over your hand.

4. Dance around the kitchen going 'OW!', hanging onto the bowl and sloping more contents over the floor,
counter, your foot, and anything else you can find.

5. Put the bowl down on the counter. Stare in disbelief at the mess.

6. Belately react to the pain in your hand and shove it under the tap.

7. Clear up the mess ineffectively.

8. Try to eat what little is left of the porridge. Screw up face in disgust at the taste of the gone-off milk and spit it out again.

9. Give up and leave the kitchen, peeling your socks off the sticky floor with each step.

10. Feel hungry and return to the kitchen again to make some porridge for breakfast.

(Clarke, L., 2011)

New Parliament Demands following Looting

2011-08-13T03:38:00.000-07:00

Parliament are meeting today to discuss an EU Directive to force all shop keepers to fit safety glass to shop windows. This is due to concerns that looters may be injured.

A Parliamentary spokesmen has said that ‘ Shopkeepers failing to meet the new requirements will be fined heavily and possibly forced to close their businesses.’

As a result InjuryLawyers4You have launched an advertising campaign asking looters to get in touch if they have been injured whilst looting.

Environmental groups have expressed concerns that looters have not been using biodegradable carrier bags to take home their loot.

Safety groups have noticed that many looters riding bicycles were not wearing helmets. A Police Spokesman replied that officers have been instructed to stop any looting youngsters seen riding on the pavement and issue fines. Schools will be organising cycling proficiency courses.

Some groups of looters have been reported holding peaceful protest meetings as they do not agree that shops should shut earlier than normal.
A car that was trashed by looters and burnt out had been left parked the following day on double yellow lines. A parking warden wanted to attach a parking penalty notice to the windscreen but as there was no windscreen he was unable to issue the fine.

Volunteer groups who turned up to help clear up the looters mess have been told to go home by local Council Officials due to Health and Safety concerns. Council Officials said they could help if they had appropriate safety equipment and were able to provide certificated evidence of training. Officials of the Union for Council Cleaning Services have objected to any help from volunteers as this is seen as devaluing the skills of their workers.

The TV Licensing Authority have said that any looters seen carrying a stolen television ‘WILL REQUIRE A TV LICENSE’ and that they will track and fine anyone using a television without a license.

Many police have reported that the front line riot duty has made a welcome change from completing paperwork. However, senior police officials are warning that all leave for the next 10 years will be cancelled so officers will be able to complete all the paperwork required following the 4 days of rioting.

Credit Crunch Tips

2011-08-04T17:39:00.001-07:00

DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune
and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you
like and hum that instead.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity
stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old
bank statements.

HOMEOWNERS: Prevent burglars stealing everything in the house by simply
moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the
morning, simply move it all back again.

SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing
your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y,

DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the
object you wish to view.

AN empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive
vibrator.

SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking
around wearing a miner's hat.

HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the
price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in
your coat pocket.

OLD telephone di rectories make ideal personal address books, simply cross
out the names and address of people you don't know.

SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning
you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of
washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they will
wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten
minutes without a coat, when you go back inside you will really feel the
benefit.

WHY pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips
from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.

MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a
window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.

SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them
before taking them to the counter to be weighed.

Dear Pets...

2011-08-01T04:57:00.001-07:00

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run..

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ....

Simple Guide To Trolling

2011-07-01T13:49:00.001-07:00

How To Start Trolling...the basics

1.Refrain from using emotional content in your posts. If you let others know you're perturbed, you will be unable to successfully troll them. The point is to perturb them instead. Language that is riddled with profanity, caps lock, or is inordinately long-winded is a tale-tell sign of emotional content.

2. Do not add people you know in real life to your troll profile, or simply put, don't mix trolling with real life. People you piss off can glean embarrassing information about you - because let's face it: you're probably an embarrassment and a general failure at life - through people you know.

3. Do not divulge to non-trolls that you are trolling. There are no real consequences to ignoring this guideline, but it will be harder to troll those who are aware of your intent. To prevent suspicious non-trolls from lurking in your profile to discover your plans, make private all posts pertaining specifically to trolling.

4. Do not out other trolls. Whether you like them or not, this is uncool. Cut that shit out.

5. Keeping yourself anonymous means to not divulge information even to other trolls. This is important because it's altogether possible that a troll that you friended is actually an anti-troll. An anti-troll is a whiteknight fag who's even more fail than you because this person takes the internet seriously and thinks they are the internet police.

6. When trolling, always remain on the offensive. To take a defensive position is to backpedal, and it gives others the opportunity to exploit your obvious butt hurt. It is a sin for a troll to get pwnd, and other trolls will regard you as a fail-troll if you do. Don’t get pwnd.

7. It is important to screenshot your wins so that you can get everyone in on the lulz. It's no fun if you're the only one laughing, right?

Basic Trolling Techniques
1. Context-Relevant Insult - Insult your target by making fun of their post. When attacking a post, a troll typically focuses on its intellectual integrity, whether it's poor grammar, poor conjecture, or is simply fallacious. The insult itself, however, does not necessarily require any intellectual integrity; the point is to expose, anger or embarrass your target.

2. Antagonistic Insult - Naturally, any insult is antagonistic. The difference, however, is that an antagonistic insult is pure ad hominem, that is an attack on the target's character or appearance. The antagonistic insult should not be overused, as your target will quickly develop an emotional tolerance to your bullshit. Instead, use this technique to throw your opponents off-balance, so you can trash them with your heavier artillery. Think of it as your jab: basic, but lacks knockout power.
Attacks on character should be well-placed and relevant rather than random. Random insults may not strike a nerve, and you risk getting into a pointless back-and-forth flame war with your opponent.
Attacking someone's appearance, on the other hand, is quite easy and effective, as people tend to be sensitive about their looks, especially women. For greater effect, try to associate the person's appearance to a celebrity or character who is unattractive. For example, "Omg what the hell is that creature? I can't tell if it's a woman or William Dafoe in drag".

3. Shock Posting - Some particularly enlightened non-trolls know that the best way to make a troll go away is to ignore them. Fuck that. Shock-posting will send them into a frothing rage. A shock post is usually something so terrible and amoral that even the hardest cynics will crack. A disturbing or obscene image or a particular slur should do the trick. Keep in mind, however, that shock posting will typically get you banned, so make sure to have extra sock-puppets handy. Also keep in mind that you will probably be reincarnated as a leper for pulling this shit.

4. Inane Flaming - In Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Li Mu Bai states, "True sharpness is effortless". This is indeed true in the art of trolling, and even a bottom-feeding low-brow asshat such as yourself can grasp the eloquent wisdom of Taoist sages.
This beautifully simplistic technique is called the Inane Flame. When your opponent has become particularly resistant to your trolling measures, or insists on engaging in a flame-war with you, you can often crush the stalemate through its use. An inane flame is an anti-intellectual post, often a short insult, used to make people who think they're smart to rant like morons. This is particularly effective because everyone thinks they're smart, and a single inane post can be repeated over and over again and the delusional pseudo-intellectual will take the bait each time, until they give up defeated.

5. Antithetical Position - Upon entering a group, the troll takes on a contrarian position. For example, if it's a Christian group, the troll is a belligerent atheist. The troll will attempt to fool members of the group into believing the troll is for real, and utilize sophisms, well-placed insults, and ridiculous rhetoric to completely whip the group's members into a frenzy. A group of contrarian trolls can effectively divide and dismantle a group, especially if no one is aware that they are trolls.

6. Position of Naivete - The troll pretends to be innocent and naive while intentionally making ignorant and hard-headed remarks in order to mess with gullible idiots, who will in turn take genuine pity upon the troll and try to school him on the error of his ways. The troll will then tool around with his targets like a puppet master until finally revealing to them that he was fucking with them. Massive lulz follow.

7. Sophistry - The troll manipulates arguments to his favor through the use of fallacious logic. One of the troll's most effective tools of sophistry is called the Strawman Argument: the troll intentionally misrepresents his opponent's argumentative position and attacks the false argument instead of the original one. This is a good way to get your opponent to backpedal and expose flaws in their reasoning, as well as a classy way to troll.

8. Strong-Arming - When a team of trolls flash-mob a group, they are particularly effective when they gang up on a single person. This has a greater psychological impact than a single person flaming another with equal intensity because people feel overwhelmed when there's a growing consensus against them. Be aware, however, that a group of non-trolls may organize and try this with you, especially if you piss enough of them off. However, as long as you keep caveat #1 in mind, you will be unharmed and quickly realize that you possess the capacity to single-handedly render their efforts ineffective.

Finally Got My Assignment Sorted

2011-06-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

I thought I might end up leaving it until the last minute to send my assignment in but had a couple of hours spare while Gift Box picked up my son's Superhero gifts on Facebook.

In all he picked up 3892 gifts and it finally stopped picking them up at about 0445. He must be psychically linked to this computer because the message came up on the screen just as I heard his bedroom door open on his way to the loo.

I am sooo disorganised. I checked on the OU site to see if there were any tasks I needed to complete and I hadn't listened to the audio on how to prepare for my assignment....didn't need it though as my assignment wasn't as difficult as I thought it was going to be.

The 2nd assignment is due in on the 26th of July and I have a busy week ahead so I might take the weekend off.

On Monday I have a council meeting to attend. Then on Tuesday there is a British National Party meeting...that should be fun. Then on Wednesday I am doing a 'be kind to neighbours' stint and walking my neighbour over to see the nurse at our medical drop in centre.

My son is going fishing in Plymouth on Thursday and is travelling back the next day so I am planning on doing a major declutter and spring clean of the flat while I have some alone time when I won't be asking him to shift his bum all day so I can get to what I want to do.

It's That Time Again!!!....Open University Blues

2011-06-10T00:57:00.000-07:00

Oh Dear....have spent so much time on Facebook I am way behind with my first assignment for my OU Social Science course.

I am meant to be outlining inequalities in Gosport High street and comparing them with those I learned about when reading about City Road in Cardiff...in 750 words.

So far I have written about 700 words.....of waffle.

I think my best bet is to type all the waffle and loads more into a Word document and then do a quick edit to get rid of the worst waffle.

It's now 9am...went to bed about 2am and got up to go to the loo about 5am and magically appeared on Facebook...how did that happen?

Since then I have faffed about on the Avon site...waffled on the money saver expert site and blogged for a bit.

Nipping off now to drop off some Avon brochures and pick up a TV mag from Morrisons.

Oh well.....being my own boss while studying sort of works that way with me.

I need to send the assignment in on-line by Tuesday...so I will most likely be working on it till silly O'clock on Monday :)

A Pets Ten Commandments

2011-05-22T10:17:00.000-07:00

A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS ........
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation
from you is likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10 On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.
Take a moment today to thank GOD for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them.

I Don't Care....(Sent to me by email)

2011-04-21T12:08:00.001-07:00

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores in July 2002, and in New York on 11 Sept 2001, and have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day in London , and in downtown Manhattan , and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11 and 7/7.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques and behind women and children.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of Nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the British media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a British soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take this to the bank:

I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner - who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and 'fed special food' that is paid for by my taxes - is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts:

I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, believe me!! you guessed it ........

I don't care!!

What I have been up to :)

2011-04-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

I seem to be spending all of my time in Internet World, but apparently not here on this blog since January...my bad :(

I was prompted to come here from the eBid forums where someone asked for an idiot's guide to blogging.

Ebid is a great place to buy hand crafted items as we have lots of crafty sellers. I buy all my hand crafted greetings cards here.

If you haven't joined up...you can join up HERE

Other things to keep me busy are my off-line and on-line Avon and Oriflame businesses as well as my Open University course that has just started.

New to SUNNY CREATIVES and arriving soon are lots of new ranges of really great gifts, goth clothing and jewellery.

I'm Having a few Days Off

2011-01-18T07:26:00.000-08:00

My next door neighbour dropped by with an Avon order today and said she would get her daughter to come round with an order by Thursday (20th January).

I asked why Thursday and she said that I had to send my order in that day.. Doh!...thought I had until next week to send it in so it looks like after Thursday I have no Avon stuff to be going along with until next week.

That's cool because we had a washing machine related flood through our kitchen and living room recently and all my floors are muddy and I now have a few days off work to clear up the mess.

I booked an appointment to see the plumber for this morning and it's nearly half past three and he hasn't turned up yet. I've called one out because we have no hot water in the kitchen but strangely, have hot water in the bathroom. I think our plumbing has an identity crisis.

New Christmas Regulations

2010-12-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

New christmas regulations

HEALTH AND SAFETY NOTICE

WHILE SHEPHERDS WATCHED
While shepherds watched their flocks by night
All seated on the ground,
The Angel of the Lord came down,
And Glory shone around.
The Union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches Health and
Safety Regulations to insist the shepherds watch their flocks without
appropriate seating arrangements being provided. Therefore, benches,
stools and orthopaedic chairs must be available. Shepherds have also
requested that, due to inclement weather they should watch their
flocks via CCTV cameras behind centrally heated shepherd observation
huts. The Angel of the Lord is reminded that before shining his/her
Glory all around, the shepherds must be issued with glasses capable of
filtering out any harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory lighting.

LITTLE DONKEY
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road,
Got to keep on plodding onwards, with your precious load.
The RSPCA has issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load
a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry. Also in the
guidelines are permitted feeding breaks, and at least one rest break
in a four-hour plodding period. Due to the risk of pollution from the
dusty road, Mary & Joseph are required to wear facemasks. The ‘Little
Donkey’ has expressed his discomfort as being labelled ‘Little’ and
would prefer to being simply referred to as ‘Mr Donkey’. Comments upon
his height or otherwise are considered to be a breach of his equine
rights.

WE THREE KINGS
We three Kings of Orient are,
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Field and fountain,
Moor and Mountain,
Following yonder star.
Whilst the gift of Gold is still considered acceptable – as it may be
redeemed at a later date through such organisations such as
‘Cash4Gold’ etc - gifts of Frankincense and Myrrh are not appropriate
due to the risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. An
acceptable alternative might be a gift voucher. It is not recommended
that traversing Kings should rely on star navigation, and would advise
the use of AA Routefinder or Sat Nav. Both can provide the quickest
route and advise on fuel consumption. As in the case of Mr Donkey, the
three camels require regular rest and food breaks and facemasks for
the three Kings are obligatory due to the likelihood of desert dust
disturbed by the camel hooves.

THE ROCKING CAROL
Little Jesus sweetly sleep, do not stir,
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants due to the risk of
allergy and for ethical reasons. Therefore, false fur, a cellular
blanket or, perhaps, micro-fleece material should be considered
alternatives. Please note that, only persons who have been subject to
a Criminal Records (CRB) bureau check and have enhanced clearance will
be permitted to rock Baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB
disclosure at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of
identification before any rocking commences. The cradle must be rocked
at no more than 24 cycles per minute and at no time violently or with
sudden changes in direction. This ensures optimum comfort levels and
minimises risk of brain or upper spinal injury from 'shaken baby'
syndrome. Until form RC 234/67C is completed to ensure all statutory
restraint straps and guards are present, fit for purpose and well
maintained no rocking shall be started. Simultaneous multiple rockees numbering
3 or more are to be discouraged.

JINGLE BELLS
Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open sleigh,
Over fields we go – laughing all the way.
A Risk Assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is
considered safe for members of the public to ride. The Risk Assessment
should also consider whether the use on only one horse in appropriate
– particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Permission
from landowners must be gained before entering any ‘Open Fields’. To
avoid offending those not participating in the venture, it is required
that only ‘moderate’ laughter is used and not at a noise level likely
to be of nuisance to others.

RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose,
And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows,
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
You are advised that, under the Equal Opportunities Policy, it is
inappropriate for persons to make comment upon the ruddiness of Mr R
Reindeer. Name-calling contravenes our Anti-Bullying policy, and
further to this, the exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from any reindeer
games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will
be taken against anyone found guilty of this offence. A full
investigation will be implemented, leading to imposing sanctions such
as a ban from hanging up stockings or enjoying Christmas dinner.

AWAY IN A MANGER
Away in a manger – no crib for a bed …

Refer to Social Services immediately!

School Was Never This Scary..or Was It?

2010-11-23T02:06:00.000-08:00

I decided to attempt some studying again now that my daughter has left home. Annie left home in February 2009 to move into a group home for adults with Autism and since it is now nearly December 2010 I have run out of excuses for avoiding getting out there and back into studying.

I'm wanting to find work in the sector that includes Charities and foundations and the like but discovered that for the better paid jobs in those areas I would need to have a degree which includes the social sciences/ social care etc.

So this is where I am right now.

My neighbours have had a hard time accepting that I work part time and also run my own on-line marketing business. I am wondering how long they will take to accept that I won't be at home much at all from next spring as my study time will be at the local library where there are few distractions and a lot less mess.

I Could Get Used to this

2010-09-15T13:18:00.001-07:00

Had a very lazy day today. My Avon delivery turned up around 0820 and I discovered that I only had one order to deliver this week as most customers are friends who drop by or they are on holiday.

Then there was a knock on the door and one of my customers...the only one I needed to leave the flat for, turned up here to pick up her order So I won't be going out again on Avon stuff until Friday...and only have 10 brochures to deliver.

This evening I managed to get rid of three huge bags of pre-used packaging and a stack of cardboard boxes I never got round to using. I gave the whole lot to someone else who sell on-line and who lives locally.

I now have a huge space in my bedroom and can see the floor

A Big Thanks To Everyone :)

2009-12-22T14:20:00.000-08:00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear All,

Just before the end of the 2009 I wanted to thank everyone for the e-mails you have forwarded over the year.

I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat sh*t in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. But that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft is sending me for participating in their special email development program. Or the payout from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I'll get a massive phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan . I can't use anyone's toilet but my own because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

I can't even pick up the £5 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's hairdresser.

Merry Christmas to one and all.

I Found A lovely New Shop In Gosport :)

2009-12-07T06:49:00.000-08:00

Based in North Cross Street in Gosport, Hampshire, Bizzie Bees Gift Cakes started out as a gift shop for mum's to be and new mums, selling of baby gifts, including nappy cakes.

They now sell a wide range of gift cakes for weddings, babies, children as well as sock cup cakes and pamper cakes. All of the cakes are beautifully presented and make ideal gifts any time of the year.

This is also now my favourite store for bath bombs and soap cake slices. Everything in the Gosport store is fabulous and reasonably priced and the customer care is excellent.

Why not drop by and see Bizzie Bees while you are in town?

Or Visit Their Site

My Monitor Died :(

2009-11-10T19:50:00.000-08:00

I tried to get on-line around 9am Tuesday and my 3 year old flatty monitor had passed away during the night :(

I managed to find a battered old CTX (from the ark) monitor buried under a pile of clutter that Gavin had dumped in the hallway...but couldn't find a cable anywhere.

I had visions of never finding one and having to go to the library to close down everything to do with the business as I can't run my business without internet access.

Got myself in a right state and then my neighbour dropped by for a girly chat so that cheered me up a lot:D

She was really worried because I can't walk very far and she knows I spend hours a day building and maintaining websites and stuff.

Then Gavin finally surfaced around 3pm, found a cable and got everything up and running within minutes.

I was so relieved that my business wasn't in danger of going down the pan that I took the rest of the day off and stayed on Facebook all day:D

Bidding Wars On Ebid

2009-11-02T12:11:00.000-08:00

Had a busy day today....winding down my business on Amazon and buying lots of pink stuff from eBid in their Pink Friday auctions for Breast Cancer Care.

If you haven't signed up tp eBid you can sign up here

It's been really crazy on eBid this evening as there have been lots of auctions ending. The busiest auctions have been those to raise money for Breast Cancer Care. If you fancy donating to the Charity...you can add your mark to this Just Giving Page

Affiliate Marketing Blues

2009-11-01T12:49:00.000-08:00

Affiliate marketing would be so much simpler if it weren't for the rules of some brokers.

I went to a new one today and they wanted me to verify my website by adding a verification code to the head of my site.

Now I am pretty much au fait with site building but the sites I build now are built using the site builder provided by my host. I can't see any raw code anywhere...if I try to find it, all I get under 'properties' is a short version of what is there...not the actual code so that I can change it.

This is the second broker I have dealt with recently that insists on asking the impossible....think I might stick to the Sunny friendly brokers I have been with for ages.

Managed to add THIS PAGE FOR CHOCOHOLICS today though...so I had some fun with that .

2009-10-28T05:26:00.000-07:00

Finally getting down to the last few days of retail for this year. My next big job is to go through all the trading venues I use and remove all my listings and close the stores.

Then, early November will be the actual start of my affiliate marketing business as I won't have the retail side as a diversion.

Having said that.....Farmville keeps calling me so my life isn't entirely distraction free.

So....I need to find a large notebook and start writing lists of stuff I need to get done to really help this business get off the ground.

Just replaced the printer as my one died...so I really want to get my books back in balance after paying for that. Really getting fed up with seeing lots of red all over my accounts.

This Might Offend....Do I Look Bovvered???

2009-10-21T17:01:00.001-07:00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After hearing that many cities did not want to offend other cultures by putting up Xmas lights, so DIDN'T!

After learning that the British Red Cross shops were instructed not to display Christmas decorations lest they cause offence. (A move which cost them my support thereafter.)*

After hearing that the Birmingham council changed its opinion and let a Muslim woman have her picture on her driver's licence with her face covered. You try it!

After hearing of a Primary School in Birmingham where a boy was told that for PE they could wear Football League shirts (Aston Villa,
Birmingham, West Brom etc) but NOT an England shirt as it could offend others !*_

This prompted the editorial below written by a UK citizen. and published in a British newspaper.*

IMMIGRANTS. NOT BRITONS, MUST ADAPT.*

Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist
attacks on London , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Brits.

However, the dust from the attacks has barely settled and the 'politically correct' crowd begin complaining about the possibility that
our patriotism is offending others.

I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Britain . However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.

This idea of England being a multicultural centre for community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As
Britons, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of wars, struggles, trials and victories fought by the untold masses of men and women who laid down their lives and of the millions of men and women who have sought freedom.

We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language! *

If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.. If
St.George's cross, St. Andrews cross, St. Patricks cross or the Welsh Dragon offends you, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.

We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this.

But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our National Motto, or Our Way of Life, I encourage you take advantage of one other great British freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.

We didn't force you to come here. If you don't like it GO HOME!!

You asked to be here.. So accept the country that accepted YOU. Pretty easy really, when you think about it..

This also is endorsed by Canadian, Australian, and New Zealander's, who all say the same thing as per the old quotation:*

When in Rome, do as the Roman's do." or "If you don't like it here? Then go back to where you come from."*

EuroMillions Jackpot Time Again

2009-10-21T09:58:00.000-07:00

EuroMillions Jackpot...Friday 23rd October 2009...£54Million ...Buy Your Ticket Here!!

OOPS!!!...got sidetracked when one of my regular retail customers dropped by to pay me in chocolate.

HERE IS MY EBID STORE

I accept chocolate as payment for anything in my store, but I am now wondering how to add this to my business accounts.

I'm also wondering if the tax office staff will accept chocolate buttons for payment of my tax.

Wow!!!...I've been busy with Pink Stuff

2009-10-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

Free European Holiday Offer

2009-10-01T05:08:00.000-07:00

7 Days European Highlights Holiday for 2 with transportation and accommodation ...
PAID IN FULL!
FREE in your holiday for 2 ...
•The opportunity to visit Bruges, Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, the WWI Battlefields and Ostend.
•The services of experienced English speaking guides and a tour director who will ensure your stay is enjoyable.
•Five nights hotel accommodation with all rooms providing private facilities and telephone.
Experience the history and beauty of Europe and delight in visiting Paris, the Opera, Louvre Museum, Notre-Dame, Champs-Élysées, Arc de Triomphe, Eiffel Tower and a boat tour on the river
Seine; you also go to Amsterdam, Kinderdij, Brussels, Bruges and the coastal city of Ostend!

Programme is subject to change. See Booking Pack for full details. Some Seasonal and pick-up supplements & other Conditions may apply.

Planning Ahead

2009-09-20T04:04:00.000-07:00

Just dropping by with the latest news from Ebid

Clicky Link To Ebid News Here

My eBid store is now up and running

You can sign up to eBid for free....HERE

Tons of stuff to keep me busy for the next few months.

List of stuff to do

1 sort out some subjects for new pages for my sunny creatives site

2. run around some sites looking for free content

3. Sign up to tons of related affiliates

4. Add lots of affiliate links to current and new pages.

5. Start up loads of new blogs

6. EAT CHOCOLATE

My Plans Are Coming Together

2009-09-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

So.....here goes....

Stuff I have planned for the next month or two.

1...Open my new witchy on-line store and add lots of spell kits and magical tools.

2...Set up my new site...I have the domain and the hosting just need to glue my bum to my chair and actually add some pages, some articles and some affiliate links.

3. Organise all my Internet Explorer favourites into folders that make sense.

4...Eat chocklitt

New Halloween Prize Draw

2009-09-10T08:54:00.001-07:00

Last month's prize was a boho beaded necklace and we received over 200 entries.

This month's prize is a pewter brooch in a 'witch with goodie bag' design.

I only have one in stock and I can't get hold of any more right now. So if you want to win one this time, you'll need to be quick about it.

The closing date is 30th September at midnight so your prize will turn up in plenty of time for your Halloween party.

Full details are here

I'm currently looking round for something to give away in October...something festive for the next few prize draws??

Frank And Ebid Raise over £1200 For NSPCC

2009-09-10T08:24:00.000-07:00

Frank Carr amazed himself by not only treking 25 miles in horrible weather and dangerous conditions, he also climbed a mountain and managed to raise over £1200 for the NSPCC.

Here is his Just Giving Page (with photos)

Around £500 was raised by a recent community charity auction on the Ebid community forum

Honest Sales People...A Dying Breed???

2009-08-14T07:15:00.001-07:00

I got a call from my current ISP wanting to convince me to stay.

The guy I spoke to said that as I had paid them extra for superfast broadband , switching to an ISP that uses a phone line rather than cable I would expect my speed to drop dramatically.

When I told him that my current broadband speed was actually slower than the speed of the broadband I had previously and that my mum's broadband speed is faster than mine via a phone line and she lives in the same block of flats...he got the hump and didn't sound nearly as smiley as he did at the beginning of the call.

If their product is really so much better than their competitors' product I don't see the need to lie about it...or is it just me that cares about the customer service I deliver??

Photobucket and Marketing

2009-08-09T16:36:00.000-07:00

Wow!!...I found another toy to play with while I think about what to put in my new on-line store.

This is a great tip from someone I know who has greatly increased their sales recently through using Photobucket to promote their products.

So....I went to my Photobucket account and uploaded some photographs of my products into a new album. Then in the photo description box I added descriptions pasted from my store on Zolanta.com

HERE IS MY STORE

Then I added my website address and the address of my store on zolanta asking people to contact me for more details.

I can then send them a Paypal or Google Checkout invoice and they can pay me using their debit/credit card on a secure checkout page ....amazing!!!

Other things I did on-line today was fix lots of broken links from photos I moved from my main file to the new one and I managed to add some new products to my store on Zolanta.

Oh.....and I forgot to play pirates but remembered to rescue my city on metro from burning down

Prize Draw Time Again

2009-08-07T07:24:00.000-07:00

I got back on-line today to find 50+ emails from people wanting to enter this month's free prize draw on my Sunny Creatives Site

Clicky Here For The Prize Draw Details

Last month I gave away a jute beach bag ....500+ people entered that prize draw!!

I try to add a prize draw every month

Next month I am going to be giving away a pewter witchy brooch and a dragon's blood writing kit.

Actually...that might be a bat's blood writibg kit. It's safely stashed away in the stock room but I cannot for the life of me remember which one I ordered to give away

You'll just have to watch this space to find out.

All Quiet In August

2009-08-06T09:39:00.000-07:00

I got reminded today to add to this blog...got to keep the spiders fed :)

August is when I take a month away from retail and focus on making plans and tidying up anything that isn't working well.

All about me on eBay and my current eBay auctions

Watch this space for news of my New Age gifts and jewellery store and in the meantime you can find my current full range

Here on Zolanta.com

Teaching Maths Through The Years

2009-07-11T00:04:00.001-07:00

1. Teaching Maths in1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths in1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths in 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths in 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths in 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how might the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths in 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health & Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident, however, he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recividest and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.
Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths in 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses. The logger struggles to pay the £1200 road tax on his old lorry. However, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it. Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the government’s expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is orced to pay £1500 registration fees as a gang master. The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths in 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج
من الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

__________________

Think Like A Millionaire ....Brian Tracy

2009-07-10T22:02:00.001-07:00

This just turned up in my mailbox

Thought I would share it

Attitude is Everything
The most important attitude for financial success is long-term thinking. Successful people think a long way into the future and they adjust their daily behaviors to assure they achieve their long-term goals. In a longitudinal study done at Harvard University in the 50s and 60s, they studied the reasons for upward socio-economic mobility. They were looking for factors that would predict whether or not an individual or family was going to move upward and be wealthier in the future than in the present.

They studied factors like education, intelligence, being born into the right family, or having the right connections. In every case, they found individuals who had been born with every blessing in life who did poorly. They also found individuals who had been born or come to this country with no advantages at all who had been extremely successful. What was the distinguishing factor?

They finally determined that there was only one key attitude that mattered. They called it "Time Perspective." Time perspective refers to the amount of time that you take into consideration when planning your day to day activities and when making important decisions in your life.

(I'm off back to bed to do some active and creative dream therapy)

I'm In Demand Again

2009-06-11T15:55:00.000-07:00

I've just got an email from an auction site I haven't listed on in ages. I think they must be emailing everyone who trades on Tazbar now it is closing down.

Today's jobs

1. Bought another 3 packs of nicotine replacement lozenges . I have a shopping list for groceries here, ready for tomorrow, but I might have to give up eating as well as smoking as I think I have enough lozenges for the entire street.

2. Added links to my blogs and some links to the blog rolls...don't know why my brother's blog doesn't have a feed...weird that.

Here is his blog...from Australia.......The Bloke With The Horse

3. Wandered about the internet...mostly forums and Facebook

4. I have enough tridents to do the next boss fight on Pirates...only I have lost the same fight twice :(

5. Dropped by my favourite games forum HERE

6. Suggested an eBay seller add a 'buy it now' option to her auctions and she now has loads of dosh to take away with her on her holiday......think I'm in the wrong job

Every Word Rings True

2009-06-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

This is from one of those emails that is sent to just about everyone to pass on.

I don't know who wrote the original email...but I agree with the whole piece.....

HERE IT IS

"

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started
by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 and
Have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day, in
downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from the nation's capitol and in a
Field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning
Or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured
by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in
A brutal insurgency.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for
Incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring
about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by
Beheading in Afghanistan .

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off
Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out
and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in
Mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blows themselves up in search of
nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide
Bombs.

I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that their freedom of
speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the
Ground or their families waiting a home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a CANADIAN soldier roughing up an
Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to
Move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank .

I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and
fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that
his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your
heart of hearts:

I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and
Other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn you guessed it,

I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends
Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous
Behaviour!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you
choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed
By radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in
The world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.'

I have another quote that I would like to add, AND.......I hope you forward
all this.

One last thought for the day:

Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ

2. The Canadian Soldier.

3. The British Soldier.

4. The US Soldier, and

5. The Australian Soldier

One died for your soul, the other 4 for your freedom.

Times They Are A Changing

2009-06-10T04:19:00.001-07:00

I thought the big news was going to be the BNP getting 2 Euro MPs elected last weekend, only on Monday I was told that one of the auction sites I trade on is about to close down.

I signed up to Tazbar.com in September 2006, when the site had only been live for about 6 weeks. I've since seen a few really dodgy sites come and go but really hoped that Tazbar would make it :(

MORE ABOUT THE TAZBAR ClOSURE

My jobs for today

1. Tidying up my newest site Here it is and adding a new link to my jewellery store on Ebid

2. Chatting on the Tazbar and eBid forums about the Tazbar closure

3. Keeping up with friends on Facebook

4. Trying to get hold of some tridents while playing 'Pirates'

Welcome To My Virtual World

2009-06-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

I used to have a blog about my life on eBid.net only eBid is only a tiny part of my on-line experience so it would have been a tiny blog.

So....I decide instead to share snippets from my on-line world and hope this blog will at least be mildly entertaining.

Facebook is playing up again...all the games are up the spout which is how I managed to find the time to nip across and add some more waffle to the rest on the internet.

Jobs today include

1. Adding lots of entries to the latest prize draw on my website.
So far over 200 people have sent me their names, addresses and email addy
Some people have added phone numbers and for some reason best known to themselves, others think I want to know how old they are????

The prize draw is open to anyone over 16 in the UK and the prize is a black and floral design jute beach bag...you can find more details if you clicky here

2. I have lots of mystic pendant charms to add to my new age store on ebid which you will find if you clicky here

3. Clearing all the game feeds on my facebook games. I am currently playing Pirates, Mafia Wars, Vampire Wars, Metropolis and Zoo Builder. I recently dumped a lot of the games I was playing as I was in danger of getting behind with my business...eeek!

I run an on-line business, partly retail and partly affiliate marketing but plan to dump the retail side at some point as I don't like working for 2p an hour and I have never seen any multi millionaires flogging their clutter on on-line auctions as their main business.

I'll get back to this when I can break free from facebook :)